Some Costs of Discipleship

49. Some Costs of Discipleship

Here we have the essence of Jesus’ teaching, what is known as The Great Paradox. Understanding it requires postulating two aspects of our identity: one rooted at the level of ego (our conditioned or enculturated self) and one rooted at the level of our soul (our essence or “created” self).

The ego-centric self abides by “the laws of men” to use Jesus’ language. In other words, it seeks survival by being obedient to the expectations and norms of the culture. The ego also sees itself as fundamentally separate from the rest of humanity, and therefore can feel secure only when it has either power over or approval from “the other.”

The soul-centered self abides by “the laws of God” and thus stands on much firmer ground. It sees itself in holistic terms – part of, not separate from. Unconcerned with power or approval or even physical survival, it is able to serve a higher purpose: truth. So when it appears that the culture is headed in the wrong direction – say, for example, a direction that threatens the survival of the clan or nation – the soul-centered self is willing to risk rejection and even its physical life to speak out.

Both “selves” have their purpose and usefulness. The question is, which self is in charge? If the ego is running the show, our essence or soul is left unmanifest. That is the meaning behind the first part of The Great Paradox. If we try and save our ego – that is, only concern ourselves with success within the culture as measured by power and approval – our higher self is left stillborn.

But if we are willing to forgo power and approval and risk rejection in order to do what we know is right – which, if you’ve ever had the experience, you know truly does feel like a death – we create the condition for the birth of a new, higher level of existence or consciousness. That is what is meant by losing your life to save it.

It is the most difficult instruction, because our ego does not want to die. The ego is clever, resilient, subtle and unrelenting – all qualities developed and perfected over millions of years of evolution. Without the ego’s drive for survival, we would never have come as far as we have.

But if we want to continue to evolve and not destroy ourselves, it is time to will the ego into a subservient role. It will never go away completely; but it can cease to be in charge.

[See also “Some Tests of Discipleship (Commentary 11-57), and “The Costs of Discipleship (Commentary 12-73).]